Sometimes, no matter how hard a couple fights for their marriage, it cannot be saved. At that point, the couple shifts from “how do we keep this together” to “how do we take this apart?” It’s easy to think that when a marriage ends, each person just walks away.
Marriage counseling can help couples decide how to bring their marriage to an end in a way that is healthy for both partners. The fact is, how a couple separates matters. It can have long-lasting effects on each person and how they function going forward. Marriage counseling can help couples decide how to bring their marriage to an end in a way that is healthy for both partners. Each one can walk away with no unfinished emotional business and move on confidently.
If you decide to seek couples counseling to help with your divorce, it’s important to inform your therapist that you are seeking to divorce and not reconcile. Some marriage counselors are also trained specifically in divorce issues or divorce mediation if that is something you and your partner need.
The need to end a marriage in a healthy way takes on even more significance when there are children involved. The marriage partnership may be ending but the parenting partnership remains for a lifetime.
How a divorce and co-parenting is handled has a profound effect on children. Children tend to handle difficult situations much better when they see that their parents are handling their business in a mature and respectful manner. It allows the kids to be kids and not have to worry about adult business. If children are involved, you may wish to consider a marriage counselor who is also trained in family therapy. Your children may need additional support that a family therapist can provide.
Expect that the discussion of divorce will be emotional. Even if it is something you both want, saying goodbye to a significant other is still hard. Allow yourselves to feel that loss.
The goal of divorce counseling is to help each of you lay to rest any remaining negativity and be able to end from a place of acceptance. It is not an easy process but your therapist will be there with you to guide you and your partner through to its conclusion.